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I feel like I'm going to literally snap in half. Ive been in a constant state of panic. Im tired of being treated like shit. I just wanna give up and not have to worry but i know I can't do that. I can't handle being called "she" and using girl spaces but I especially cant stand being called "it" abd a "shemale". I just wanna rip off my skin 99% of the time. I don't wanna deal with this. I don't want to fucking exist...but for whatever cruel reason i have to...
Poetry???
Do you even know?
Laying in bed
A knife to my chest
Trying to cave out
What
Doesnt
Belong.
Do you even know?
Going days without a shower
The pain
Unable to see what lays underneath
Because you know
If you do
You'll realize what
Doesnt
Belong
Do you even know?
The constant
Real
Life
Horror
That is just "your" body
Do you even know?
Unable to gaze into
Your
Own
Refection
Afraid of the truth
Do you even know?
"Thats not ladylike"
"You're not a guy"
"That's not your REAL name "
The constant
Degrading
Disregarding
Of your own identity
Do you even know?
Why the ledge looks so nice?
Why i drown myself in
A very poor mental state
Well I wasn't going to make a journal about this because why does it matter? I can't keep ignoring it though. If any of you can, i would love to have someone to talk to about this.
Well its no secret that im transgender, as that is usually the reason i make vent journals/art and its always been hard. Well...I've only been doing worse...
I hate to admit that I'm really week willed, especially when it comes to living like this. Im constantly called a girl and when i try to stand up for myself its always "well you're not a guy yet" or "you're still technically a girl"
I hate it. To me it's just a life not worth living at all, but don't take
Streaming!!
https://picarto.tv/live/channel.php?watch=LavaZWolf
Fuck fuck fuck...
I think it was pills he might not be okay I don't know what to do anymore I can't do this i can't handle losing another friend that would be the second one in less than a year I don't know what to do im so sorry...
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